sometimes you just gotta...

C is for cancer

in an update from the last post it appears that my dad has cancer, not just in his lungs, but on his hip and in his arm.  i know my dad and hes the type that just wants to know what it is, try to treat it and go on living his life.

no timelines for anything or specific treatments yet.  in the next few days ill know all of it, including if cancer is hereditary and im at a huge risk.  but, lets be honest, avoiding cancer at this point seems impossible no matter what your family history is.  we all die from something and be it cancer, a car crash, heart attack, or a broken heart, it happens and you cant escape death.  the weight of mortality is probably the biggest motivation we have to do things in life and accomplish our goals.  if you didnt have to worry about death and dying there would be no rush for anything to happen in your life.  time weighs so heavy on us all, but what really is time besides perception? until the railroad system was initiated in the us, the majority of americans didnt own/wear watches on a daily basis.  no schedule, no need.  i admire that.

on top of death and taxes, i think love/heartache need to be added to the list of the unavoidable.  having just come out of a 1 yr stint that just didnt work, although i tried and tried and watching a friend deal with 2.5+ yrs not working, makes you evaluate yourself a little more.  sometimes the scariest thing you can do is look in the mirror and say "im not happy, what the hell do i do now?"  we all deserve a chance at being happy, whatever that is. 

i remember when my grandmom got sick and went into the hosptial, my grandfather, who was in a lot of pain wouldnt say a word in fear of taking attention away from my grandmothers medical problems.  as it turned out, he had bladder cancer and his life would be cut short in months, 2 yrs before hers.  one thing we all knew was that if my grandmom had died first, he wouldnt have lasted more than a week and would have let go in order to be with her.  its hard, at 28 to imagine loving someone(besides family) so much that youd rather not live a day without them, but its real and exists.  there were so many things i admired about my grandfather and if im ever considered to be half the man he was i would be proud.  hes with me forever, torches together, hand in hand.

its times like these i wonder...

this week has been crazy to say the least.  on weds i got a call that my dad was rushed to the hospital.  hes been having pretty bad back pain for a few months and first they thought maybe it was his back and needed to operate, then it moved onto potential nerve damage linked to his diabetes and now they found a huge list of problems.

two blood clots in his lungs, a potentially cancerous growth in his lung, more potential cancer on his hip(the source of the pain in his back) and on top of that hes got annyerisms(i dont know how to spell that).  so, they put him on blood thinners to fix the blood clots, but those could agitate the things i cant spell and cause them to burst, ending his life quickly.

i know my dad and hes not the kind of guy that wants people sitting around a hospital room 24hrs a day, but when things like this happen in your family, being 3000 miles away can be really hard.  do i go home? do i wait til they know more? theres a huge stack of if this than thats right now and still finding out if he does have cancer.

growing up, i had the seemingly typical childhood.  parents divorced when i was 1 yrs old, followed by rarely seeing my dad over the next 17 yrs.  but, on the day of my high school graduation i let it all out, everything, all the bullshit and we were able to start having a real relationship.  

im very thankful for that and that we were able to move on and have had a great relationship for the past 10 yrs.  its amazing how many things you notice are similar once your adults.

i keep calling everyday to get updates, but it really forces our own mortality into perspective.  i guess it depends on what you believe in but we all will die and its gotta be something.  we cant all drift off in our sleep, carried on angels backs. 

makes you think about some of your decisions and realize that maybe there are some loose ends to tie up, things to do, people to say  i love you too, and old relationships that need mending.

today.

trust the apple theory

*disclaimer* although this theory has been well tested and mentally documented, no real studies have been done involving control groups in a lab with humans or monkeys.

somewhere along the great path of adolescence i discovered an interesting trend among my peers.  i noticed that people who take the time out to eat an apple, im talking grab the apple, eat it right there people tend to be more honest/trustworthy.  why? well, that part has been harder to pinpoint but an early theory leads me to believe there might be a direct correlation between the time spent to eat an apple in peace with certain personality types.  what is also unclear is if people who pre-slice fall into this theory.  i have a feeling they might, but i cant confirm it, so anyone else thats studied this phenomenon, please contact me if you have conclusive evidence.  it also seems to apply itself across the board from red delicious, granny smith, pink ladies, fujis, all of apple varieties.  as for dried fruit versions like fruit jerky and sugar coated dried fruit? sorry, dont think youre honest.

how i discovered this theory is unclear, but general observation over the years started adding up and proving itself.  maybe its the whole fruit thing? does it apply to strawberries and blueberries? ill be honest(because i eat apples), im not sure.  

do yourself a favor and start observing the people around you.  that guy eating the big mac and fries....dont trust him.  the person snacking on some twinkies....id watch out too.  your friend that always eats bananas...thats debatable, but potentially shady activity.

test it out and then you too can be a believer in the trust the apple theory. 

dig.

didnt i say ok already?

so, one thing ive happened to notice which boggles(should i be saying bloggles now?) my mind is the whole series of questions when you go to checkout.  could be the grocery store, your favorite office supply place, whatever.  being a true american who rarely has more than $5 cash on him, i tend to swipe the debit card often.

you make your purchase, you SEE the total BEFORE you swipe the card.  swiping goes down without a problem.  then you do your pin magic, and move on to the cash back questions.  reasonable and potentially helpful question, i admit.  but, i always say no so i can keep annoying myself with this dreadful process.

after saying no to cash back you get prompted by the most useless and time wasting steps to every transaction.  "is this total ok?" . well, maybe im an idiot, but would i have swiped my card if i didnt think the total was agreeable? what happens if you say no? does it cancel it and make you go through the whole experience again? 

seems like a waste of my time.  maybe im alone in noticing its complete and utter pointlessness, but i have a sneaking suspicion im not.

blogga please!

herein follows the token initial blogging entry about me so ill make it short for the ADDers reading this.

my names greg.  simple enough.  i own a clothing line http://www.milestogoclothing.com and make custom belts for people http://www.milestogobelts.com

on top of all the excitement ive created for myself with businesses i also make people some coffee 3 days week.  it gets pretty boring working in the house alone so i need some interaction before craziness sets in.  plus, i get my fix of coffee for free.

i have a dog named brando, i type in all lowercase letters and rarely use theses things: " '  so ive is ive not I've.  dig?

no clue where this will go or if ive just created another glorious distraction for accomplishing my work, but i guess it doesnt really make much of a difference.